confessionsofanonalcoholic

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9.26.2014 – Life now

I am 30 now. It’s going much faster now on this side of the fence.

  • Boys – dating one, moved really fast, say we love each other every day multiple times a day. He misses me and likes me more than I like him in this very moment.
  • Work – great job, busy busy busy, fun, love it, love the money, but feeling disorganized.  Maybe this will resolve in time?
  • Eating Right – doing a really good job, 80% of the time.  The other 20% is sushi, dark chocolate with pomegranates, and popcorn with coconut oil and salt.
  • Working out – fantastic at this one, yoga almost every other day, and volleyball twice a week.  Keeping REALLY active right now.
  • Friends – good for the most part.  Feel like there isn’t enough of me to go around right now.
  • Family – same as friends.  Good, but feel like I need more of me.  Or change my priorities?
  • No alcohol – EXCELLENT!  Sometimes I worry that I am missing out on something watching everyone else get wasted on Friday night . But then I remember the last time I drank, and how tired I have been getting.  And that I’d rather read or write or peruse blogs, or go for a bike ride.
  • Traveling – Europe in two weeks EXACTLY.  CAN NOT Wait.

So many things I want to talk about now, but I am so tired.

Sleep.  Volleyball.  Sleep.  Sleep.  Dry run packing for Europe.  Goodnight moon ;)


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Day 1: 30 day challenge

Day 1 photos: IMAG1134 IMAG1135 IMAG1136 IMAG1137

 

I love my body for everything it does for me.  But I really dislike how my body looks, especially in the third photo.  I think I can do so many good amazing things for myself, and NOW is the time.  I have everything I ever wanted, including a wonderful man who loves me regardless of my size, a fantastic job that pays me really well, a great family who is always there for me, the best place on earth to live, and wonderful friends who make me laugh.

What’s left is my body.  I will love it and LOVE it hard.  Today is the day.  No excuses.

photo

 

 


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Deactivation

I deactivated my Facebook account tonight.  Again.  For the most recent of close to 10+ times. I deleted it a few times recently, the longest for about a month this past April.  It was a good experience.  I have been using Facebook for validation, to post thoughts to people, and to get noticed.  Isn’t that what validation is?  Wanting someone to notice us and confirm that our opinions are worth something? 

I have come to realize I want to be noticed, loved, and be listened to because of something I did, said, or showed to others that doesn’t involve social media.  I want to be called because you miss me, care about me, and want to see me.  Not because a website suggested that we be friends.  Not because a website suggested we know the same people.  Algorithms, code, data, interaction, likes, comments. Isn’t it all just a cry for attention?  If you are one of those people who post to share news, good or bad, life happenings, or just stay in touch, one of those that doesn’t care if you get likes, comments, shares, or more.  How do you not care?  What is your background?  What self-confidence do you have that enables you to not care?  Does everyone care and some show it more than others? 


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Sweat

“To sweat is to pray, to make an offering of your innermost self. Sweat is holy water, prayer beads, pearls of liquid that release your past. . . . Sweat is an ancient and universal form of self healing, whether done in the gym, the sauna, or the sweatlodge. I do it on the dance floor. The more you dance, the more you sweat. The more you sweat, the more you pray. The more you pray, the closer you come to ecstasy.” – Gabrielle Roth 


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The Value of Time

To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who just failed a final exam.
To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who has given birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of ONE DAY, ask a daily wage laborer who has seven kids to feed.
To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who just missed the train, bus or plane.
To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident.
To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics.
Time waits for no one.  Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.

- Unknown

I think the student that failed the final exam could PROBABLY have worked a little harder.  


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4.5.14 – Thoughts and Communication

I want to communicate my thoughts out loud and have people understand what I am saying. But then I give up because I know no matter how eloquent I try to be, I cannot be as eloquent or communicate as well as I can in my head.

So I end up giving up and not saying anything at all.

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